The Girl was a lonely child. An Only Child, with no siblings or cousins. She learnt to be her own companion, filling her after school hours with romance novels. Studying in an all-girls Catholic school taught by stern teachers and nuns, her school friends were her only friends. 16 and never been kissed. She looked at boys and fancied some of them from afar, but she was reserved and wasn’t part of any group. Then one day she joined the Youth Choir at her church. At last, a way of making friends with boys! Never mind that she couldn’t hold a note and mouthed most of the songs. Her companion in this endeavor was Alison, a school friend, who was also a loner. Long jawed Alison, who sang loudly and with enthusiasm, even though her singing ability was worse than The Girl’s. Alison was a year younger and in the same class as The Girl.

And that was how two awkward young girls joined the ‘social scene’ of the local community. It went fairly well as social scenes go. Late evening choir practices, laughing and joking with boys and girls. Yep – they were finally able to talk to boys. Joining the Youth Choir led to participating in various church activities and social functions. The youngsters hung around in the church compound chatting before and after functions. Those were the days before the internet, social media and easy access to drugs. The more innocent days of youth. Even then, of course, there were the ‘bad boys’. The ones who weren’t a part of the choir or the parish youth group, but who hung around in the compound. Everyone flocked around them. To feed off their wit and sarcasm.

And then The Girl fell in love with Mark. Mark who was one of the ‘bad boys. Mark with light brown eyes, dimples and a husky voice. Though more importantly, Mark with the quick wit and enticing laugh. The Girl was, and always would be, drawn to intelligence and humor.

The Girl started paying more attention to her clothes and hair. No more old-fashioned outfits selected by her grandmother. She started stepping it up a notch. She still wasn’t in the league of the fancy girls, but it was enough to gain the attention of the Choir boys. But The Girl was drawn like a magnet only to Mark. He knew her. He liked her. But they were still only friends who met in a group. Time passed as months in this manner. Until it was almost her birthday.

As it happened, Alison and The Girl’s birthdays were only 4 days apart. They decided to have a joint birthday party. A proper party with dancing and snacks and no adults. It was to be in The Girl’s house. Her parents were given instructions to either leave or stay in their bedroom.

Alison and The Girl spent a few weeks planning the party. The planning was done mainly at Alison’s house because Alison’s mother wanted to be involved. Alison was the youngest of three sisters. The ugly duckling, to be brutally honest. For some reason, Alison was the most sheltered by her parents. She wore dresses with high collars that were designed by her mother. Alison was a very ‘by the book’, rule abiding girl, who listened dutifully to her parents.

Finally, it was the day of the party. The apartment was decorated; the music was set up and the food was laid out. Then the guests started to arrive. Alison and The Girl had invited some of their close friends from school as well as the church youth group. And of course, Mark was invited. One by one, two by two, they all rolled up until the room was full, the music was turned up and the party started.

Deep in her heart, The Girl could hardly believe it. Finally, actually…there was a party in her own home…with boys! She’d already decided that she was going to take this opportunity for her chance at Mark. How and what she was going to do, she had no idea. There was no real plan, but she knew she was going to take a step. Enough waiting.

As the party went into full swing, the lights were turned off, the music volume was turned up and the dancing began. The Girl had to juggle between being a good hostess and enjoying her own party. She danced a bit and then went into the kitchen to bring out more food. Time was passing and she hadn’t really kept track of Mark. She was determined to look for him when she went back to the party. She picked up a couple of dishes and hurried back. The lights were dim and the music loud, but she sensed a sudden uneasiness in the room. There were some whispers and looks in her direction. What the heck was going on? Chris, her best friend from school, suddenly appeared by her side, grabbed her arm and whispered in her ear, “Mark and Alison are kissing”.

And Mark and Alison didn’t stop kissing. They kissed in the center of the room for almost the whole duration of the party.

The Girl’s legs became frozen. She couldn’t move. She could hardly breathe. She didn’t know what to do. Now it was clear that all these people knew that she fancied Mark and they were feeling sorry for her. In her own home. At her own birthday party. Well, to be factually correct, hers and Alison’s birthday party. Alison. Her friend. Her staid, plain looking, old fashioned friend was kissing Mark. She could actually feel the pain in her heart. This is what heartbreak felt like. An actual pain in the heart.

She couldn’t remember how she went through the rest of the party. Some of the boys danced with her. In fact, one of them tried to kiss her, but that she wasn’t having any of that. Not now. All she wanted was for this Party from Hell to end and for people to leave. Finally, they did. One by one. Two by two. She avoided Mark and Alison’s departure. At the end, there was only Chris, standing by her in moral support. Then the tears could come. As Chris aptly put it, like the song, It’s My Party and I’ll Cry if I want to.

That, unfortunately, wasn’t the end of the sorry tale. The Girl had to continue to attend the youth functions where Mark and Alison displayed their relationship in full love and glory. The pain compounded by being in their presence. Trying to hide the shock, betrayal and pain. Until she could do it no longer and left the Youth Group. She avoided Alison at school until their final exams were over and they parted ways. Shortly afterwards she heard that Alison had got pregnant. By then she was numb. There could be no more pain.

The first Heartbreak. The first of many more to come. And though the song says, ‘the first cut is the deepest’, that’s not true. Many more cuts would penetrate even more deeply. However, no one forgets the sharp physical pain from the first Heartbreak.

The Girl would always remember. Even when she became The Fiery Woman.

~~~~Fiery